fighting with my own demons has never been something i have done very well and i have never won a round! but i did for a little while learn to ignore them but now i think this is where my problems really began....
i again battled to get my weight down and i managed to get to 7 and a half stone but as i began to ignore the voices telling me to lose more weight, my weight crept up and there i was a ten stone....... i thought i was over the idea that i needed to be skinny and i thought i had actually won this time.......
but now i repulse myself and cannot stand to see what i look like.... so here i am hearing the voices telling me to lose weight and for once i am not even going to try and fight with them for now i think they are right..... people say i was to skinny before, but they say that now and never said it then so i cant believe that to be true......
so....
i have lost 6 pounds in 5 days
i am determind to get my weight down to 7 and a half stone
i have voices urging me to lose more
i make myself sick now without even needing to us my fingures, i can just force it all back out.......
and the trouble is.......
i feel comfortable and in control and for once actually understand myself and feel like myself......
